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Fonzie of the Week #4: Rich Uncle Pennybags

August 21st, 2009 1 comment
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Rich Uncle PennybagsIn these tough economic times, who amongst us couldn’t use a mentor? You know, somebody to give you sage advice and to provide a strong example to follow as you navigate the tricky financial problems we all face in this great recession. Well, look no further, my friend. I’ve got the pecuniary guru you’ve been waiting for, and he’s the Fonzie of the Week. I’m speaking of course of Rich Uncle Pennybags (A.K.A. the Monopoly Guy).

Since bursting onto the scene in 1936, Mr. Pennybags has remained a beacon of hope for the down-and-out and well-to-do alike, and what’s cooler than that? He’s generous with his wealth and maintains an indomitable spirit when his luck runs out. He’s quick to take a chance and believes in the power of the community chest. (And if that’s not a resounding endorsement of free universal health care, I don’t know what is!) And I don’t know any New Yorker who wouldn’t kill for a landlord who only charges $50 in rent for kick-ass beachfront property. I know I would. The man’s practically a saint!

Pennybags has a list of accomplishments a mile long, but I’ve compiled a quick visual list of some of his most notable achievements for your reading pleasure:

You Have Won Second Prize in a Beauty ContestHe’s a beauty contest runner-up. (There’s no shame in second place. Col. Mustard’s a real looker.) It’s proof that a top hat and tails never go out of style, and serves as a reminder that you should dress for the job you want, not the job you have. Pennybags, your wisdom – like your smoldering good looks – knows no bounds.
Pay School TaxHe’s been pushing for public education reform since way before it became en vogue. Who do you think managed to get Al Sharpton and Newt Gingrich to join forces, anyway? Only one guy I know has them both on speed-dial, and his last name rhymes with “any slags.”
Go Directly to JailLike any financial whiz-kid, he’s skirted a law or two over the years. But he did his time and took it like a man. Stop snitchin!
Take a Ride on the ReadingHe supports American industries, and believes in mass transit. He’s a green pioneer! And unless I’m mistaken, there’s a clear implication made in this drawing…Mrs. Pennybags knows what I mean. Toot!

Congratulations, Rich Uncle Pennybags. Whether you’re hot-rodding in your silver car, or tooling about in a thimble, you never let us forget that sound financial planning is always cool. Pass go, collect Fonzie of the Week.

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